CELEBRATING YOUR PARTNER ON JAPAN's second VALENTINE’S DAY

| Strawberries covered in white chocolate, a lovely gift for White Day

by Dinara Murzalina

It may not be easy to express your appreciation for your loved ones when you are affected by anxiety or depression. The Japanese celebration of White Day is a perfect opportunity to do so.

White Day is taking place on the March 14, one month after Valentine’s Day. While the international day of love is known in Japan as the time where women give presents to their men, on White Day, men return the favour by getting their beloved ones sweets or jewellery of white colour. This symbolic tradition is a good metaphor for a relationship in general, especially those where one or both partners are affected by mental health.

Matt Kynaston, mental health blogger, says the most common problem in relationships is that men don’t practice talking about complex feelings. They are likely to act out in a way they have been taught is acceptable for men to do so; anger. For Matt, the stigma around mental health is in "the same vein of thinking" as male dominance.

Michael Shanklemen, a clinical psychologist at Salomons Centre for Applied Psychology, believes the way men express their mental distress can lead to conflict rather than compassion between partners. Aliya Aldanazar, a family therapist, has a more optimistic view on the issue: “Attitudes are changing; men are more likely to open up about their feelings. It means they are more likely to become empathetic toward their partners.”

Some think mental health can bring a couple together. “They say your partner can often be your therapist. I find the best relationships are those who are constantly coaching each other through life's difficulties,” tells Matt. “Recently my girlfriend has been struggling with the ‘January blues’. Up until this point I had only ever seen her at her happiest and upbeat. It made me appreciate her a lot more, and brought us closer together.”

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